Many mothers entering menopause would have teenage children by now. When the two generations meet, the situation can be explosive! That’s what happened to me when I couldn’t get along with my son and we argued daily. 

Later, my husband and I took a parenting course and we learnt to understand a teenager’s needs better. We learnt to rehearse a conversation in our minds first, so we could choose the right words, tone and body language to communicate with our son.  

We were also taught to take an interest in what he likes, and learnt to cut down on criticising his hobbies or commenting on his friends. After all, these are what he cares about. And even if you feel anxious and worried about your children, remember to hold back the negative words!  

Then you may ask when parents can teach their children. I think this needs to be done before puberty, which is why experts emphasise the importance of parents’ influence before age 12. After this “golden period” is over, young people will begin to have their own ideas and want to make their own decisions. 

For a while, my son rejected my care and it frustrated me. I turned to God and said, “I don’t want to give love anymore. I just want to live a good life alone.” But I felt God comforting me, saying, “You are also like a teenager to me. You need my love, and my love is endless. I will provide you with enough love so that you can continue to love.” 

Indeed, in God’s eyes, we are like unpredictable teenagers, sometimes obedient and sometimes rebellious. God’s love for us, however, never changes. His love will enable us to love others, and in the process, we’ll realise how patient and accepting He is towards us. 

It’s not easy to raise teenage children in this day and age. But with God’s example as a loving Father, He’ll teach us to always have “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12) towards our children.