Releasing Bitterness

Elena lost her son when he was only forty. This tragedy had been compounded, she told me, by the callous words of a “friend.” “Your son died of a rotten heart,” the woman had said, angry from holding a grudge for a separate, unrelated matter. A decade later, Elena still couldn’t sleep from the rage the woman’s words caused. “How do I get rid of the bitterness in my heart?” she asked.

When Paul tells us to “get rid of all bitterness” (EPHESIANS 4:31), he gives us some guidance on how to do that. We’re to have a truthful talk with the offender (V. 25) in the hope that they repent (V. 32). But in Elena’s case, barriers prevented her from meeting with the offending woman. What else could she do? Thankfully, she could follow Jesus’ words and, “pray for those who hurt you” (LUKE 6:28). This powerful act helps lift us above the offense by participating in God’s redemptive work (VV. 35-36). Elena and I bowed our heads, thanked God for forgiving us, and asked that He free the woman from her own destructive anger.

“My heart is free,” Elena told me later. When reconciling with an offender isn’t possible or may even put us in danger, their mistreatment doesn’t have to be the final word. Praying for their forgiveness can help lift us out of bitterness by joining God’s redemptive work in their lives.

— SHERIDAN VOYSEY