Love, Forgiveness, and My Father

For many people, their fathers are a role model and hero in their lives. My father was anything but. Before retiring, he worked in other cities and came home only on weekends. That means I saw him only once a week.

A Childhood Filled with Disappointment

For as long as I remember, my family always had financial issues. My father’s car would break down in the middle of the road, making me feel insecure in it. My parents argued every time he was home, then gave each other the silent treatment. The weekends were a mix of fear and anticipation for me.

I envied my classmates who went on holidays with their parents. I would ask my parents, they would agree but always cancelled when school holidays arrived. I often wondered: what happened to the promised trip?

Other things included not buying me the things I wanted (I realised later they couldn’t afford it) or not even showing up for award ceremonies as I did well in exams and in athletics. Over time, I stopped having expectations of them to avoid being disappointed over and over again.

One incident was particularly traumatic: at my grandmother’s house during Chinese New Year, I met some cousins and didn’t know they were my extended family. When I saw my father taking out money for them, I asked in front of everyone, “Why are you giving them money? They’re not related to us.”

At that moment, my father slapped me. It was the first and only time he ever hit me. I had always been well-behaved, so no one ever hit me. That painful experience left a deep scar in my heart, one that I couldn’t forget for a long time.

Because of such childhood hurts, I felt an unspoken distance between myself and my parents; I didn’t want to let them into my life or be really close to them.

God’s Healing and Restoration

At the age of 19 I decided to give my life to the Lord. But at 32, just as my career was taking off, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Lymphoma. I stopped work to undergo six months of chemotherapy. The side effects were extremely painful, and I lost 20kg and all my hair and eyebrows.

During that low point, I was utterly broken by God. My past achievements were meaningless, because at that moment I realised how close I was to death. I realised that I could no longer rely on myself. So I chose to return to God and seek His mercy and healing.

During my illness, my retired parents moved from Kluang to rent a house near the hospital in Melaka to take care of me. We spent many cherished moments together, and though they were not Christians, they agreed to hold my hand and pray for healing as I’d read in Matthew 18:19 that “if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”

That was the first in a long time that I held my parents’ hands. My father’s, the one that had once slapped me, felt exceptionally warm and in that moment, the deep wound in my heart faded away. During those six months in hospital, I saw my father cry over my condition and I truly felt his love for me.

After treatment, I returned to Kluang with my parents. I went back to work and continued serving in church. At special services, I would emcee for the events and noticed my father’s approval as he clapped and supported me.

My Father’s Journey to Christ

It took my father a long time to accept Christ. Later in life, he developed a severe case of ear imbalance. Like me before, he learned to trust God in his suffering, slowly going to church and participating in small group activities with me.

After becoming a believer, my father experienced peace and joy, and thanked God for helping him find a suitable doctor and regain his health. Last Christmas, he was also baptised, Hallelujah!

I thank the Lord for giving me such a loving father and for repairing our relationship. I pray and believe that one day my mother will accept Jesus too.