Some years back, I went through a difficult time in my life. It was a period marked by breakdown and confusion due to many problems. Well-meaning people would say, “God will provide.” But at times, the famine felt long. Even as a respected leader in the church, I felt distant from God.

From that experience, I realised that theology (knowledge) and ministry (good works) were not enough. I asked myself the difficult questions: Was I getting caught up in church activity but neglecting my relationship with God? Was I truly close to Him and therefore I do His work, or was I idolising my ministry? Was my identity tied to my position?

That’s when I decided to reconnect with God and feel His presence again. I disciplined myself to wake up early to spend time with Him. At times, praying was difficult, but by God’s grace, I found strength in worship songs. In these “quiet” times, I learned to be silent and let Him speak. I also realised the need to confess my sins as taught by the late Pastor Timothy Keller. By God’s grace, I was found again by His everlasting love.

Ministry can be a distraction if it becomes a form of “self-actualisation” and our source of fulfilment. Like the Samaritan woman at the well, only God’s living water can satisfy us (John 4:14). Rather than seeing our worth in our performance, we should see our worth in Christ instead. Because when the difficulties arrive, like loss, illness or grief, we will be forced to ask: What is our faith based on? What do we really believe in?

In hard times, God breaks us so He can draw us back to Him again. I urge every Christian leader to check their heart – not to display greatness, but to come to Christ with humility and sincerity. When we are fulfilled by Him, we can help others experience Jesus through us, anchored in the Gospel of Christ crucified and resurrected.